There is a tear in the digital eye of Pretending Along
But, for your continued enjoyment, come see us here:
Check out Pretending Along's new home, http://pretendingalong.smorgasblog.com
Bigger and better things await, friends. I can't wait to get started on the new blog. I'll be using Moveable Type instead of Blogger. Not that I have anything against blogger, they've been good to me, helped me out of a few jams, but it is time to move on. I've joined a group of DC-centeric bloggers in a blog co-op of sorts. While Pretending Along will remain my own home on the net, I'll be joining in on some lively group blogging on two other blogs:
--Reportage. Gossip. Attitude. Happy Hour.
-- live from the third rail: a transit blog
Soon, we should have the main page (http://smorgasblog.com
XML syndicated, so that you can check in there and get a small taste of what awaits on DCSOB, third rail, and Pretending Along.
I'll be importing the archives to the new site this week. See y'all soon in Moveable Type land.
Stupid, stupid job...
Makes me miss what I hear was a good episode of the West Wing.
Keeps me from blogging.
Makes me lose contact with my friends and family.
Restricts my heavy drinking during the week.
Feeds and clothes me and keeps a roof over my head... Damn!!
Oh well back to work.
On a completely different note
This blog is packing it's digital bags.
We're hoping we can fit every 1 and 0 into the overhead compartment.
This blog hates checking baggage (and as regular readers know, we've got alot of baggage)
We don't want to rent a U-Haul.
This blog is MOVING.
And we're doing it this weekend.
Check back here for more details.
Fun with the Internet
Infantile? Again, yes
Scatalogical Humor? Hey, I'm not above that.
Suprisingly Gartifying? Abso-freakin-loutely
(Wait for the whole page to load)
A joke someone told me on Saturday
A Cubs fan, a Yankees fan, and a Red Sox fan are lost in a remote third world country with no money and no food. They come across a market in a small village and decide that if they don’t steal food they will starve to death. When trying to steal some bread they are caught and soon are brought before the chief of the village.
The chief looks them up and down and says, "We cannot have foreigners entering our village and stealing from our citizens at the market. According to custom you shall each receive 10 lashes from the ultimate whip of punishment."
The chief then nods to his right and a large man appears carrying a massive whip, covered with spikes, broken glass, and other painful-looking appendages. The chief, studying the three fans, says, "However, I can see by your caps that you are all devotees of baseball, the greatest game ever invented. In light of that, I will grant you each one wish before you receive your punishment."
The chief nods to the Cubs fan who replies, "For my wish I’d like to have a pillow strapped to my back before my lashes."
The chief nods to his attendant who complies with the Chicagoan’s wishes, strapping a large pillow to the man’s back. The man with the whip begins to deliver the punishment. By the fifth crack of the whip the pillow has completely disintegrated and the Cubs fan receives five brutal lashes, leaving him a crumpled whimpering mess on the floor.
The chief nods to the Yankees fan who replies, "For my wish I’d like to have two
pillows strapped to my back before I receive my lashes."
The chief again nods to his attendant who complies with the New Yorker’s request, strapping two pillows to the fan’s back. The man with the whip begins to deliver the punishment. But by the seventh crack of the whip, both pillows have completely disintegrated and the Yankees fan receives three brutal lashes, leaving him
a crumpled whimpering mess on the floor, in only slightly better shape than the Cubs fan.
Turning to the Red Sox fan, the chief says, "It is time for you to receive your punishment. But I can see by your hat that you are a fan of the greatest professional sports team to ever grace the face of the earth. In honor of this I will grant you two
wishes before you receive your punishment. What do you request?"
"First," says the Sox fan, "I want 100 lashes."
The chief, looking slightly perplexed, nods for the Sox fan to go on.
"And second," the Sox fan continues, "Strap that fucking Yankees fan on to my back."
I am a big nerd
Case in point. I can't wait to go home and spend some time exploring this website: NationMaster.com
. The site has this tagline: "Where Stats Come Alive."
Here's an actual quote found at the bottom of the page:
"Our stats are now even sexier with color-coded maps."
They sure are
I'm currently in the middle of giving a 6 hour training presentation at the office. The group--26 people--is subdued and disinterested. That I can deal with, it's not exactly the most interesting subject matter. What does infuriate me is that while I'm talking and walking around the room, I see some fucking woman checking her email on her fucking Blackberry. If that weren't enough, the disrespectful so-and-so is also responding to emails. I can understand being that rude if you're, say, in a large training meeting in an audirotium; but in a room where the presenters are wandering around 26 people attempting to interact with you it's just fucking rude.
The worst part, I can't say anything because she's a director of something or other.
I will have my revenge. She's got more than 4 more hours of me to deal with. What can I do to her?
The Reverend Al is going to be on the Post's Live on Line today at 11.
Tune in, see what he says, report back to me.
Busy, busy, busy...
I've been a bit preoccupied with work, the weather, halloween, and family lately. I hope to post in a bit. In the meantime, check this
out, it seems that there is a fantasy stock market that deals solely in blogs. I haven't explored the site too much as of yet, but let this blog know if you sign up.
I really like this webite.
The Idiot Boy King held the 10th press conference of his Presidency yesterday.
It’s a momentous occasion. To help the President commemorate this I think we should but aside partisan differences, take up a collection, and buy our commander and chief a small token of our respect and admiration for taking
scripted questions from reporters a whole 10 times since 2000. I think we should get him a dictionary. Now before you accuse me of calling the President stupid let me defend myself. I simply think that he is confused about the definition of one or two words, this is not a trait of stupid people, many intelligent people use words incorrectly until they are tactfully corrected by their peers. It’s happened to me. And it happened to the president yesterday and it’s our job to correct him. Here’s what he said, from the official White House transcript
, ”I'll say that the world is more peaceful and more free under my leadership, and America is more secure.”
Now does anyone else see which word he misused? I think he has “peaceful” confused with something more like “volatile” or “violent” or “unstable.” Perhaps he has confused the meanings of the words “more” and “less.” Despite which words he misused he can’t have meant what he said. The Palestinian Intifada has entered its fourth year and one can see no signs of an end to the bloodshed. North Korea is developing and testing nuclear weapons. India and Pakistan have come to the brink of nuclear war. And if I remember correctly, the United States invaded two sovereign nations, both of which are anything but peaceful at the moment. Also, perhaps someone should remind the president of a few key facts: first, the world is not actually under his leadership. And second, considering the worst terrorist attack in American history occurred under his watch, it might not be so great to talk about how much more secure he’s made this nation.
Another gem from the press conference:
THE PRESIDENT: …Let's see -- Terry. Then you, Stretch.
Reporter: Thank you, sir. Mr. President, your policies on the Middle East seem, so far, to have produced pretty meager results as the violence between Israelis and Palestinians --
THE PRESIDENT: Major or meager?
THE PRESIDENT: Oh, okay.
THE PRESIDENT: Meager.
I wrote a post entitled "Sometimes I take pictures that don't suck" there should have been a coda to that post. It should have read, "Sometimes I take pictures that don't suck and then some fluke of the internet ensures that I can't show them to anyone. I'll repost them once I've fixed whatever was wrong. Or you can check them out here
(but it probably won't work).
"Copy my list. Cross out the the artists not in your record collection. Add ones that are. Perpetuate."
1. Nick Cave
2. Dead Can Dance
3. Elvis Costello
4. Soul Coughing
5. P.J. Harvey
6. Robyn Hitchcock
7. Leonard Cohen
8. Front Line Assembly
1. Latin Playboys
2. Flaming Lips
3. Elvis Costello
4. Soul Couthing
5. P.J. Harvey
6. The Clash
7. Be Good Tanyas
9. Mary Prankster
What the fuck moment of the day:
Rob Zombie (yes, that
Rob Zombie) will be live online at washingtonpost.com
at 3pm ET today. It shocks me that not even 6 years ago, I would have scoffed at the notion of reading a newspaper on a comouter. Today, the website for my local paper will let me chat with Rob fucking Zombie. I love technology.